In all seriousness, I should post something that isn't a humorous breakdown of my wife's writing. How about this: here's the recipe for the greatest homemade CLIF-Bar inspired granola bar evar. A tip o' the hat goes to the Enlightened Cooking blog, where I found the recipe I tweaked to my tastes.
What's great about this recipe is how flexible it is. You can double it or mix and match ingredients as you like. I've been known to halve the chocolate chips and add chocolate protein powder right before dumping it into the pan. Next time I'm craving them, I'm going to replace the chocolate with dried cherries and maybe use walnuts instead of almonds. Get the recipe after the jump.